OK, so how are we doing? This week in class we had a very interesting discussion about love, attraction, dating, courtship, and mate selection. In class we talked about how we are dating really sets the tone for our future marriage. We discussed how the current dating culture is to just “hang out” in groups until you meet someone you like and then go steady. We called this the date ‘em till you hate ‘em method.
However, elder Dallin H. Oaks said, “Men, if you have returned from your mission and you are still following the boy-girl patterns you were counseled to follow when you were 15, it is time for you to grow up. Gather your courage and look for someone to pair off with. Start with a variety of dates with a variety of young women, and when that phase yields a good prospect, proceed to courtship. It’s marriage time. That is what the Lord intends for His young adult sons and daughters. Men have the initiative, and you men should get on with it. If you don’t know what a date is, perhaps this definition will help. I heard it from my 18-year-old granddaughter. A “date” must pass the test of three p’s: (1) planned ahead, (2) paid for, and (3) paired off. These three “p’s” of dating correlate with the Proclamation’s three “p’s,” which are preside, provide, and protect. When a man demonstrates he can preside, by planning a date, provide, by paying for the date, and protect, by being paired off for the length of date, it shows that he is well on his way to preparing to be a father and a husband. And as a woman helps the man in dating, she is preparing to be a nurturer as she nurtures their relationship.
Elder Oaks also said “Young women, resist too much hanging out, and encourage dates that are simple, inexpensive, and frequent. Don’t make it easy for young men to hang out in a setting where you women provide the food. Don’t subsidize freeloaders. An occasional group activity is OK, but when you see men who make hanging out their primary interaction with the opposite sex, I think you should lock the pantry and bolt the front door.”
Elder Oaks, “There should be dating, followed by careful and thoughtful and thorough courtship. There should be ample opportunities to experience the prospective spouse’s behavior in a variety of circumstances. Fiances should learn everything they can about the families with whom they will soon be joined in marriage. In all of this, we should realize that a good marriage does not require a perfect man or a perfect woman. It only requires a man and a woman committed to strive together toward perfection.”
I couldn’t agree more with his statements. I think that the dating and courtship need to be more defined in the process of finding your eternal sweetheart. there needs to be more thought put into it. I also feel that time is very important. I think that many couples rush too fast to marriage before they really get to know each other.
However, elder Dallin H. Oaks said, “Men, if you have returned from your mission and you are still following the boy-girl patterns you were counseled to follow when you were 15, it is time for you to grow up. Gather your courage and look for someone to pair off with. Start with a variety of dates with a variety of young women, and when that phase yields a good prospect, proceed to courtship. It’s marriage time. That is what the Lord intends for His young adult sons and daughters. Men have the initiative, and you men should get on with it. If you don’t know what a date is, perhaps this definition will help. I heard it from my 18-year-old granddaughter. A “date” must pass the test of three p’s: (1) planned ahead, (2) paid for, and (3) paired off. These three “p’s” of dating correlate with the Proclamation’s three “p’s,” which are preside, provide, and protect. When a man demonstrates he can preside, by planning a date, provide, by paying for the date, and protect, by being paired off for the length of date, it shows that he is well on his way to preparing to be a father and a husband. And as a woman helps the man in dating, she is preparing to be a nurturer as she nurtures their relationship.
Elder Oaks also said “Young women, resist too much hanging out, and encourage dates that are simple, inexpensive, and frequent. Don’t make it easy for young men to hang out in a setting where you women provide the food. Don’t subsidize freeloaders. An occasional group activity is OK, but when you see men who make hanging out their primary interaction with the opposite sex, I think you should lock the pantry and bolt the front door.”
Elder Oaks, “There should be dating, followed by careful and thoughtful and thorough courtship. There should be ample opportunities to experience the prospective spouse’s behavior in a variety of circumstances. Fiances should learn everything they can about the families with whom they will soon be joined in marriage. In all of this, we should realize that a good marriage does not require a perfect man or a perfect woman. It only requires a man and a woman committed to strive together toward perfection.”
I couldn’t agree more with his statements. I think that the dating and courtship need to be more defined in the process of finding your eternal sweetheart. there needs to be more thought put into it. I also feel that time is very important. I think that many couples rush too fast to marriage before they really get to know each other.